Hate to Love You
by Mystewitch
Summary: Set in Rome. It's been twenty years and Damon fulfilled his promise, staying away to respect Elena's choice in Stefan. A chance encounter jeopardizes the carefully won peace he's made with the situation. Can Elena penetrate the wall he's built around his heart to keep from being hurt again?


**A/N: I don't own Vampire Diaries or any of the characters, but I do like to take them for a spin every now and again. **

**I'm so sorry I've been away for so long, I've really missed writing fanfics! I've been tied up with my books and had a tiny break between finishing one and starting the next and decided to get a little TVD oneshot in. **

**I admit, I have been lacking inspiration with these guys given the turn of events at the season ending and the fact that I'm a diehard Delena fan. I could always pick up at the end of the season, but then again, I've already done Elena as a newbie vamp in Wake Me When the Sun Goes Down, so instead I decided to take things in a different direction. **

**It's been twenty years and Damon fulfilled his promise, staying away to respect Elena's choice in Stefan. A chance encounter jeopardizes the carefully won peace he's made with the situation. Can Elena penetrate the wall he's built around his heart to keep from being hurt again?**

_Rome_

It was only by chance that Damon looked up as she entered the piazza.

Katherine.

A scowl dragged at his mouth, _just what he needed_. Not in the mood for a little wham bam, thank you ma'am, he shifted slightly; trying to decide if he should slouch and hope she'd pass on by or make a break for it. For a moment it looked like she was too distracted to notice him and he decided to go with laying low, but then her eyes swept in his direction, and he couldn't bolt fast enough without drawing more attention.

"Damon…" her breath hitched, a decidedly human sound considering she had no need of air. The widening of the eyes, the rush of color to her cheeks, the perfect moue of those soft lips… it wasn't Katherine at all.

"Elena?" he blinked, too stunned to do more than stare at her in wonder. She was beautiful as always. No longer sporting the low slung jeans and strappy tank top that were the uniform of her teen years, she looked unspoiled and innocent in a simple sundress Katherine wouldn't have been caught dead in unless she was after something. In the hot afternoon sun, she appeared the perfect tourist, brightly woven bag hanging on her bare arm and oversized sunglasses pushed up atop the dark, glossy hair that spilled over her shoulders; a folded paper map in her hands.

"Wha… What are you doing here?" she sputtered, clearly having as much trouble forming words as he did.

Damon was the first to recover though, finding at least the appearance of disinterest. "It's a free country," he shrugged. "At least, I think it is… it's been a while since I checked in on the geo-political climate."

"Same old Damon," she smiled, a roll of the eyes given as she shook her head.

The more things changed, the more they stayed the same. Hearing that familiar cast to her voice when she said his name… it was at once both thrilling and unbearable. She would always think of him the same way; unchanging, unworthy. _Unloved._ "Yeah, same old me," his mouth twisted into a wry grin. "So, I'll just leave you to it then." Leaving the ridiculously overpriced coffee on the table, he rose to his feet with fluid grace, tossing coins beside it as an afterthought.

"You're leaving?" It was Elena's turn to blink in disbelief, and Damon took some small measure of happiness in being able to shock her after all those years.

"As much fun as this has been, I have zero interest in taking another twenty years to get you out of my head. _Arrivederci_." Offering her a mock salute, he turned away, knuckles gleaming white under the skin as he tightly clenched his hands into fists, trying his damnedest to keep it together while she was still there.

"You're angry." It was a bewildered statement, not a question, and Damon whirled to face her, losing the battle to keep that wall of insulation up between them.

"Well, what the fuck did you expect, Elena?" his eyes blazed azure fire. "I tore my heart out for you, but you didn't want it, did you? It wasn't good enough. I don't know what you expected to happen when we saw each other again, but I'm tired of dancing to your tune. Go find someone else to torture, I'm over you." It was laughable, the idea that he was over her, yet capable of such a heated response, and Damon turned away, burning with shame at letting her get to him so easily. One foot in front of the other, just a few feet further and he'd was clear of the square; able to put on a burst of speed and some much needed distance between them.

Only Elena was stronger and faster than he imagined she would be in her vampire form. In the space of a heartbeat, she was by his side again, hand catching at his arm. "Damon, wait…"

"What do you want from me?" Damon tried to yank his arm free, but couldn't dislodge her grip. Maybe he didn't really want to.

"I want to see you, to hear how you've been."

"I'm not in the mood for a stroll down memory lane right now, if you'll excuse me," he forced a sneer to his voice, trying to block out the feel of her small hand on his arm, skin cool now, just like his.

"You're not interested in how I've been at all?"

"Nope."

"Oh." Elena released him, her voice sounding small and dejected.

Some of the steam went out of Damon's anger as he faltered in the face of causing her that disappointment, but he steeled his heart against her, changing the subject. "Where's Stefan anyway?"

"I don't know," she answered vaguely, lost in thought.

"So, he finally kicked off the training wheels and let you out of his sight for a while, huh? And it only took what, twenty years?" he smirked, and her brows drew together in confusion.

"Didn't he tell you?"

"Stefan and I haven't exactly been close since you rode off into the sunset together. So excuse me if I'm not up to date on the details of your epic romance." That part hadn't been a sacrifice at all; the last thing he'd wanted to do was hear about how Stefan was with Elena by his side. It had been far easier to close the door on his baby brother altogether than he'd thought it would be.

"I haven't seen Stefan in… I guess it's been about fifteen years now," Elena looked away.

_Fifteen years?_ He had to have heard her wrong. "I'm sorry, I think I just hallucinated. What did you just say?"

"I said, I haven't been with Stefan in a long, long time." Her gaze met his and Damon couldn't look away. The silence stretched between them, neither one of them moving so much as a muscle until he recovered his smirk.

"It's a drop in the bucket of time, sweetheart. You have to look at time differently now, forever means a little something different when you're immortal. Don't worry; I'm sure you lovebirds will find your way back to each other before too long."

"I really don't think so," she sighed, and he almost believed her.

Almost.

"Good thing you've still got your looks then, you should be able to snag a new beau just like that," he snapped his fingers. "Or is this visit about talking me into helping you get him back?"

"What? No…"

"Good, because that's really not my forte. Unless you want to make him jealous? I always was good at that."

"I remember." They shared a rare, commiserating smile. Damon remembered too… only too well. "Actually, I have been sort of looking over my shoulder, expecting you to find me for a while."

"Sorry to disappoint, but you haven't been on my radar for a long time." The little flare of pain behind her eyes didn't make him feel nearly as good as he'd thought it would before he said the words. Neither did the way she retreated behind a shell he recognized all too well.

"Okay, well… it was nice seeing you again, Damon. I guess I'll see you around."

_Don't do it… don't do it… keep your mouth shut…_ "Elena wait," Damon called after her, ignoring the little voice inside his head. "Is this your first time in Rome?"

"Yes."

"Have you been to the Basilica yet?"

"No, the lines were too long."

"Lines," he snorted with a shake of the head. "Come on."

* * *

The Basilica, the Colosseum, the Gardens of the Villa Borghese… Damon and Elena played tourist all afternoon, and he took great pleasure in showing her everything one of the oldest cities in the world had to offer. To his surprise, her Italian was flawless, an expensive camera making a frequent appearance in her hands as he guided her to some of his favorite spots.

This Elena was a puzzle to him. Gone was the weepy teen, steeped in doom and gloom all hours of the day. The woman beside him kept up with his pace, her questions coming fast and her enjoyment obvious as the radiant smile on her face. Damon soon forgot to be moody and reclusive as he'd become of late; leaving the anger and frustration by the wayside as he enjoyed the woman she'd become. Deep inside, a kernel of hurt he'd been holding onto started to dissipate, dissolving in the face of her infectious laughter.

Sharing a bowl of yellow plum gelato, Damon watched her enjoy the frozen treat, unable to tear his eyes away from her mouth. "I thought you were Katherine when I first saw you, you know."

"I get that a lot."

"I can imagine," he murmured. Though anyone who knew either of them couldn't possibly mistake them for long.

"Katherine definitely gets around a lot. Actually it's fun sometimes, pretending to be this badass vampire I'm not," she grinned around the plastic spoon.

"You could be a badass vampire if you wanted to be."

"That's just not me," her nose wrinkled in distaste.

"Too bad, I have a feeling that badass Elena would be a sight to see." Part of him was very interested to know how she'd come to terms with being a vampire given her gentle nature. Neither of them had brought up feeding on more than tourist fare the entire day. What would it be like to go hunting with Elena? Something must have showed on his face, because her eyes narrowed suspiciously.

"If you say anything about leather pants or a corset top I'm outta here."

"Ooh… now that you mention it," his grin turned into a grimace as she smacked him across the abs hard enough to send the breath out of his body.

"If you want the femme fatale so much, why don't you go chase after Katherine," she said loftily.

"I'm not into necrophilia, thanks all the same."

"Ah, aren't we all undead?"

"Not on the inside where it counts."

Elena's expressive eyes widened. "Damon Salvatore, did you just admit to having a heart?"

"Look a little lower, I think you'll have a better idea what I was talking about," he did that thing with his eyes, gratified to hear her laughter in response. Damon could tell the moment Elena's mind switched gears, her face thoughtful as she moved her spoon through the remains of the ice cream.

"I wish we could have done this a long time ago."

"Some things are just not meant to be," he shrugged, losing his taste for the dessert. Tossing the melting mess into the garbage, he started down the narrow street, not really caring if she followed or not. The day had been just about perfect really; he wasn't eager to return to the past.

"I did try to look you up, years ago," she admitted, falling into step beside him. "But I couldn't find you anywhere."

"That was the general idea. A deal is a deal."

"What deal?" she looked up in surprise.

"Stefan and I made a pact; we'd stay out of each other's hair if we ended up the loser in the Elena marathon."

"You're not a loser."

"Could have fooled me," he muttered under his breath, but of course she heard him plainly.

"You were never a loser, it wasn't about that. Having to decide between the two of you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."

Damon held up a hand before she picked up too much steam. "I'd really rather leave the past in the past if you don't mind. I don't want to hear your justification for picking him over me. It was always him, I get that. I moved on."

"I didn't."

"Then I feel sorry for you."

Elena flinched, her steps slowing. "I didn't mean I'm still living in the past. I'm over Stefan; I have been for a long time. But from the sound of it, it's a wonder you remember me at all."

_Oh he remembered…_ "I have fond memories of our time together overall. Some of it was good," he played it off with casual nonchalance.

"You really don't feel anything for me anymore?"

The petulant little note of disappointment cracked his veneer of indifference. _If only she knew… _"What do you want me to say, Elena?" That he managed to fill his life with empty activities to keep from dwelling on what he'd lost? Never staying anywhere for more than a few days, never letting anyone get close to him because he couldn't lose the image of the perfect Elena Gilbert burned into his brain?

Damon pressed her up against the building, pinning her there with his body. "Is this what you wanted? When you saw me in the piazza today, did you expect me to pull you into my arms and kiss you like time had stood still?" his eyes dipped to her mouth and he leaned closer, lips brushing the air beside her skin in the ghost of a touch.

Her voice was no more than a whisper. "Yes."

That was all it took and Damon claimed her lips in a soul searing kiss, the taste of her overwhelming his senses. She was eager and responsive in his arms, matching his passion as she kissed him back with no reservations. _Was any of this really happening? _Could he really be holding Elena in his arms after all that time? Did she want him the way he wanted her? Needed her? Somehow he couldn't bring himself to believe the idea that she would want him for anything beyond the physical.

The little noises she was making were driving him insane, and Damon pushed aside such heavy thoughts for later. Even if it was only for one night, he knew he wouldn't turn her away. Besides, maybe he could finally get her out of his system. Maybe he could have a little fling with Elena for as long as it lasted and then he could move on; let go of the brooding shell of a man he'd become. Stepping up his tender assault, he slipped his hands up under the hem of her sundress, fingers moving across her supple skin, soft as sin.

"Wait…" she murmured against his lips.

Damon kept kissing her, ignoring the push at his chest. He didn't want to hear what Elena had to say, instinctively knowing that anything that kept her from kissing him back couldn't possibly be good.

"Damon, wait…" she tried again, pushing more firmly against his shoulder.

"Goddamn it, Elena. What is it now?" he demanded hotly. "You're having second thoughts already? I'm moving too fast?" She wasn't an eighteen year old girl anymore, no matter what her body looked like; she could hardly be shocked by anything he'd done so far.

"Damon…"

"You know what? Forget it," he shook his head in disgust, letting go of her. "I'm not mad at you, I'm mad at me for thinking for a moment you'd even want me this way."

"Damon," Elena said more firmly, hand snaking up to catch his jaw and forcibly turn his face to look into his eyes. "Would you shut up for half a second? I'm trying to tell you something."

"Fine, do it then," he glowered, even as a part of him craved that touch.

"Are you going to listen to me or sulk like a little baby?"

"I'm listening," he ground out between his teeth, forcing a smile. "See, I'm even smiling, all a-quiver in anticipation."

"I'm not having second thoughts."

"You're not?" he blinked.

"No, I'm not," she kept pushing against his chest as he leaned in to kiss her again. "But I think we should talk."

"You talk, I'm busy," Damon easily captured her hand, leaning in to kiss the smooth column of her throat. As long as she had no objections to him, he wanted to do his best to convince her that they'd be great together; in any capacity she wanted him.

"Damon…" despite the censure in her voice, her head tilted to one side, affording him better access. "There's something I need to know before this goes any further."

"Three hundred and forty-two," he murmured against her skin, tongue working lower.

"Huh? What's three hundred and forty-two?"

"Nevermind. Are you almost done talking now? 'Cause I'm thinking we should take this somewhere more private."

"Hey, I'm serious," she pulled back to look at him and Damon's shoulders sagged, a flicker of fear appearing behind his eyes.

"What do you want to know?"

"Did you mean it before, when you said you'd moved on?"

Damon let out a long breath. "Elena… moving on would imply that I've made peace with losing you. I wouldn't call the life I've been living for the past twenty years at peace, no."

"Then you do still have feelings for me? This isn't about some kind of bucket list; have Elena once to stick it to your brother or anything?"

"You know, for a smart person, you're actually pretty stupid sometimes."

"But you said…"

"What, you've never heard of sour grapes before?" he smirked. Cupping the side of her face, he brushed his thumb across her petal soft cheek. "No, Elena, I haven't moved on. At times I thought maybe I could forget you, but it's kinda hard to let go of the only person I've ever really loved. I've accepted it; accepted that there's nothing I can to do make you feel the same way about me that I feel about you…"

"I love you," she blurted out breathlessly.

"What?" Was his mind playing tricks on him? "It sounded like you just said…"

"I should have said it to you a long time ago, but then you were gone and…" she shook her head, eyes shiny with unshed tears. "I kept hoping I could find you, and then so much time went by and I figured you had to be avoiding me, might even hate me for choosing Stefan. And then when I saw you in the square, you seemed to be totally over me, but then later today it was like no time had passed between us at all, and… I'm completely babbling," she made something between a laugh and a sniff. "Say something, Damon, please."

"You love me…" he repeated, a little dazed. Was that even possible? For a split second he wondered if it _was_ Katherine, getting her jollies by fucking with him.

A pucker appeared on Elena's smooth brow as she didn't quite get the answer she was hoping for. "It's okay if you need some time to process that, I know it's out of the blue and you haven't seen me in forever, but…" the rest of her words were cut off as Damon covered her mouth with his, his heart swelling with so much emotion, he thought it might burst.

"No more talking," he murmured against her lips, arms encircling her tiny waist to haul her up against his body. "Time for me to show you how much you mean to me." In a flash he had her back to his room; barely clearing the door before he fell upon her with hungry kisses.

"Only if we can take turns," she gasped as his hands stroked her sensitive flesh.

"It might take a while to do it right," his lips curved against her skin as her body told him he was on the right track. Damon could easily see it taking years to express the depth of his love for the woman in his arms.

"Forever might cover it," she echoed his thoughts.

"You have to look at time differently now, forever means a little something different when you're immortal," he chuckled, depositing her on the bed.

Eyes glittering in anticipation, Elena pulled his welcome weight above her. "That's what I'm counting on."

**A/N: What did you guys think? Holy crap I missed writing for these two! I wish I had time to take them on an epic tour of Europe, but this was all I could manage for the moment. **

**Feedback is Love**


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